Control Freak

Scripture: Exodus 14:14

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Observations:

This scripture is when God's people have just left Egypt.  They are standing on the bank of the Red Sea screaming at Moses that they would have been better off just staying slaves.  It's the first of many times that the nation of Israel freaks out on him.  And it is the first time God shows up and shows his people that they can rely completely on him for every need.  The people are trapped between the Red Sea and Pharaoh's army and Moses tells them, "Be still (or be quiet, in some translations) and let God fight for you."  And he raises his staff and then a dry path opens up across the sea.  And God's people walk across on dry land, while Pharaoh's army is covered by rushing waters when they follow.

Application:

I noticed something this morning.  When I look at my Bible, a lot of the verses I've underlined and pondered are ones about God's peace.  I tend to skim over parts about being uncomfortable, persevering, putting it all out there, letting myself get into situations where God has to show up.  I want to get to the rescue part… the part that is comfortable.

“But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.” --Francis Chan (Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God)

I'm not very good at being uncomfortable.  I have this "first world problems" mindset in which I think there should be an immediate solution to everything.  In the past week, I've spent quite a bit of time wrestling.  I've wrestled with believing God, with pride, with insecurity, and with letting go of control.  And the more I prayed, the more uncomfortable I was feeling.

When I pray, I want peace to be instantaneous.  I want to feel God's calm wash over me immediately.  But God knew that's not what I needed at that moment.  The Israelites could have gone through Philistine country and had a shorter journey (Exodus 13:17) but God knew that was not what they needed at that moment.  He instead led them to the edge of the Red Sea.  He led them to a place where they were uncomfortable.  But he didn't leave them there.  He came through for them in a magnificent way.

So if God is going to eventually bring us that peace, why does he need to bring us to that place of discomfort first?  The answer is found in Exodus 14:4, "But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord."

I can't stand being out of control.  I want to fix things.  I want to check things off my list.  I want to please people.  And I can't stand that about myself.  Because when I'm sitting there trying to be enough, I'm not letting myself sit at the point of uncomfortable.  And as long as I'm focused on fighting for myself or for other people, I'm not completely surrendered to Him.  I'm not in a position in which my entire being depends on him coming through.

So I think that's why I am still left wrestling.  It's myself I am wrestling against.  It's not that the Lord hasn't shown up to give me that peace.  He is just saying, "Be still and let me fight for you."  But "still" is such an uncomfortable place for me.  And yet I want to get there.  I want to be okay with uncomfortable because I know that is the place of complete faith… the place where intimacy with the Lord is greatest… the place where he can use me for his glory… the place where it stops being all about me… the place where my mindset becomes like that of Christ.  His life was never comfortable.

Prayer:
God, you are amazing!  You show up every single time.  Lord, I want to stop wrestling you for control.  Help me to learn to settle in that uncomfortable place and let you fight for me.  I want my life to be all about glorifying you… not about being comfortable.  But that's a hard thing to pray.  Because it's so scary.  You have to come through... But I know you always do.  Thank you for your relentless love.  In Jesus' name!  Amen!

Waver or Strengthen

Scripture: Romans 4:20-21
Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised.

Observations:

Application:
This verse is talking about Abraham, who was a very old man still waiting for a child.  God had promised him more descendants than he could count and to have an eternal convenient with his people (Genesis 17).  But Abraham was over 100 years old and still waiting on that promise.  That guy knew what waiting was.  He knew what it was like to struggle to keep hoping.  But this verse offers two options to those of us who are waiting on God to show up.

Option 1: Waver through Unbelief-  This means "to withdraw, desert, oppose, hesitate, or doubt in faithlessness or weakness of faith."  A few verses before this, scripture says that Abraham was "hoping against hope."  Most of us would give up when the odds are stacked that much against what we're hoping for.

Option 2: Strengthen in Faith- This means "to increase in strength of conviction regarding one's relationship to God."  This option also comes with an additional descriptor.  It glorifies (or acknowledges the absolute perfection of) God.

So in any time of waiting we have these two options.  We can allow that waiting to waver, resulting in weakness of faith.  Or we can allow that waiting to strengthen, resulting in a straightening of our conviction and glorifying the Lord.  So what factors play into what the outcome will be for us?

One is the enemy.  His voice will be in our heads saying, "It's never going to happen.  Something has gone wrong.  God's plan won't be fulfilled.  This is your fault anyway.  Give it up."  We've got to be careful to recognize this voice for what it is and take these thoughts captive.  2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

The other factor is the Holy Spirit.  In Mark 9, a father asks for healing for his son.  Jesus says, "Everything is possible if you belief."  The father responds, "I do believe.  Help me overcome my unbelief." And Jesus heals him.  God is in the business of strengthening our faith.  He will give us enough faith to sustain us.  And that faith will grow in increasing measure as we wait on a promise to be fulfilled.  We can ask for more faith.  I think sometimes we are afraid to pray that prayer because we are afraid to admit to God that we're struggling to believe.  Guess what?  He knows.  And he's so willing to hold us up, to sustain us, to give us our daily bread of faith to keep us going until the answer comes.

Prayer:
Dear Lord, you are amazing!  I believe you have a plan that is exceedingly and abundantly more than what I am imagining right now.  But I need your help in waiting.  I need you to give me faith to sustain me.  I want my faith to be strengthened as I wait.  And I want to glorify you.  Help me to do this.  Help me to hope against hope.  In Jesus name!  Amen!

The Pain in the Blessing

Scripture: Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.

Observations:

Application:
Yesterday's message by Pastor Chris was one of the most powerful and profound I've ever heard.  Please watch it if you missed it yesterday.  It's such an important thing that hardly anyone ever talks about.  One of his main points in the message was when we say, "It's all good," that's a lie.  Here on this broken, troubled earth, everything isn't good.  We have a lot of pain.  And often time our pain comes in the process of an answered prayer.  He gave the example of Rachel who died giving birth to Benjamin, who was to be an answer to her long-time prayer.  That's so true isn't it?  That many times life comes along with death.  Growth walks right beside pain.

The pain, the brokenness, the heartache, the secrets, the shame… This is the part of our story we are afraid to tell-- either because we don't want to let people see our darkness or because we don't trust that God is working in those circumstances.  But here's the truth.  God works it all together for our good.  And what is ultimately good for us?  A life that glorifies Him!  And He is glorified when we tell the story of how He used our brokenness and turned it into something beautiful.

Pastor Chris asked the question, "What are you going to name it?"  Rachel wanted to name Benjamin "Ben-Oni" which means "Son of My Sorrow."  But Jacob named "Benjamin" which means "Son of My Right Hand."  Although he was in so much pain, having just lost Rachel, whom he loved so much, he didn't want Benjamin's entire life story to be hinged on his pain.  He wanted to give him a name that would recognize that he was a blessing, even though there was pain in the offering.

I think this resonated so strongly with me because acknowledging that things aren't all good all the time is comforting.  We so often hear Christians talk about being so blessed-- and we truly are-- but when that blessing is so often defined by a list of all the good that's happening, we start to wonder why we have so much pain sprinkled in with our blessings that others don't seem to have.  The truth is, we all have pain-- a lot of it.  But I am confident that God is going to use it as part of his good.  That's why I say that I am blessed.  Because being blessed doesn't depend on how many good things there are in my life.  And having pain and hurt doesn't mean I'm not.  Things may not be good.  But He is good.

We've got some stuff going on right now.  Who doesn't, right?  But in that circumstance, I've already seen God work.  He's removed masks and open the door for honest conversations.  He's revealed realizations to bring healing from past emotional wounds.  That doesn't mean I don't beg him to let this storm be over as soon as possible.  I do.  I want the pain to end.  But I already see how he is using it for his purpose.  And acknowledging his faithfulness in the pain brings hope to sustain me.

As it does so often, this song came to mind this morning-- especially the second verse.  No matter which seems to be dominating our circumstances at any given moment-- the good or the pain-- He is good.  His plan is good.  He is working it all together for our good.

Prayer:  Blessed by your name, Lord!  You are good all the time.  Thank you for everything you are doing in my life.  I trust that you have a plan for my circumstances and that you are working them all for your good.  Help me to use this to glorify you.  In Jesus' name!  Amen!

We Keep Waiting...

Scripture: Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Observations:

Application:
When I think of waiting, it reminds me of my childhood.  My aunt, uncle, and cousin lived in Alabama and we only saw them every few months.  When they would come to visit, I remember waiting eagerly for them to get to our house.  I can picture my sister and I pressing our noses against the glass on the front door of our Scenic Drive house looking out and waiting for them to arrive.

I remember waiting outside that same door for my big sister to arrive.  My dad had been in Guatemala for about 6 weeks and my mom for a week or so, working out the final arrangements for her adoption.  I remember pacing up and down the sidewalk with excitement to meet my big sister for the first time.  I remember anticipating her arrival as a miracle, because it was so extraordinary that a first child would get a big sister.  We had waited for months, and now the last few minutes seemed like an eternity.

I remember waiting waiting for my friends to come over-- I think it was my 9th birthday-- to have a glamour shots sleep over party.  Mom had hung a backdrop and bought make-up and found old prom dresses and plugged in every curling iron and set of hot rollers she could get her hands on.  And I couldn't wait to tease our hair, put on bright lipstick, and pose for the camera.

There is a difference in this kind of waiting and the kind that is described in Romans 8:25 though.  The verse right before it says, "But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?"  In all of these circumstances, I "already had" the thing I was waiting on.  Barring something completely tragic happening, I knew for certain those things were coming.  I was just waiting on time to pass but I knew the outcome I was hoping for was in fact coming.

The kind of waiting that Romans 8:25 is describing is waiting with full confidence even though we have no idea what the outcome will be.  The Blue Letter Bible translates the word patiently as "the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and loyalty by even the greatest trials and suffering."  In other words, no matter what struggle we're going through, we wait.  We wait with deliberate purpose-- our eternal purpose-- God's glory.

When we've been praying for healing for a family member's emotional scars as long as we can remember, we keep waiting…
When we've been praying for the war between our parents to end forever, we keep waiting…
When we've been praying for our loved one's deliverance from addiction for years, we keep waiting...
When we've been praying for the cancer to go away, we keep waiting…
When we've been praying for the relationship we've always desired, we keep waiting…
When we've been praying for a child, we keep waiting…
When we've been praying for our dream job, we keep waiting…
When we've been praying for our own deliverance from depression or anxiety or insecurity, we keep waiting...

...with full confidence of God's deliberate purpose.  We keep waiting… with that same anticipation… with our noses pressed up against the glass.

Prayer:
God, please give me that kind of patience!  I want the kind of patience that doesn't even swerve when times get hard.  I was to keep true to my "deliberate purpose and loyalty"-- your glory.  God, grow me beyond just hoping when I am pretty sure what the outcome will be.  Teach me to trust even when I can't see your plan at all.  Help me to keep waiting with full confidence.  In Jesus' name!  Amen!

#NoFilter

Scripture: Psalm 16:11
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

Observations:

Application:
Last Sunday, Pastor Chris talked about "destination disease," not being able to celebrate one accomplishment for look towards the next one.  Yesterday in small group, we started looking at Ecclesiastes and how everything we do with earthly motives is meaningless.  Then in church yesterday, Pastor Micah talked about how Leah and Rachel were both constantly looking for fulfillment in what the other one had.  I think I see a theme developing, don't you?  And I feel like in all of that the Lord is speaking right to me.

I STRUGGLE with this.  A lot of times I feel like I'm living a life FULL of joyful moments but somehow that doesn't add up to a joyous life.  The past couple of weeks have been amazing.  I've gotten to spend so much time with my family and do things that I love and rest… so many moments marked by joy.  But then, there is the list of "if-thens" that factor in to the equation that keep it from adding up to a life defined by joy.  I simultaneously want summer to never end because I'm having so much fun and enjoying my family and rest and then can't wait for it to end because then my degree and my book will both be finished and I'll have my class and be a teacher again.  Ugh!  I'm such a mess.  I just want to feel contentment.  I just want to feel joy that's not contingent upon anything else being checked off my list.

And compounding that, I feel shame for feeling that way.  I know that my joy should be found in the Lord and am not sure how to relinquish this over to him.  I don't really know what that looks like.  But I really want to.  I want to trust the Lord with my whole path of life-- even if he only gives me the next turn to take.  I want his joy to define me.  I want to rest in his presence.  I want to responsibly manage my to-do list without anxiety about what's left on it to suck the life out of me.  I want to learn to be content even when there are things left undone… because there always will be.  I want the sum of my joyful moments to equal a joyous life.

Prayer:
Dear God, I need all kinds of help with this.  I don't even really know what that help will look like.  But Lord, please show me what I need to hear from you.  In Jesus' name!  Amen!

Gamaliel's Monologue

Scripture: Acts 5:34-39
But a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while.  Then he addressed the Sanhedrin: “Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men.  Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing.  After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered. Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail.  But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

Observation:

This passage comes when the apostles were first put into jail but the Lord opened the door to the jail during the night and the next morning they were standing out on the steps preaching the gospel again.  I am thankful for Gamaliel's little monologue here because it makes a great point.  Lots of people have started rebellions and sects and whatnot.  But usually after their leader dies, the group fizzles out.  

But look at what's happening there.  Just a little while after Jesus' death.  The number of disciples has grown tremendously, with new people adding to their number every day (Acts 5:14.)  And what's even more amazing is that here we are 2000 years later still continuing the ministry of Jesus!

Application:

Not only is this passage a great argument for the validity of the gospel but it also teaches us an important and empowering point.  First let me ask you a question.  In the words of Robert H. Schuller, "What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"  Well guess what?  You cannot fail.  Psalm 46:5 says, "God is within her, she will not fall."  Plans made from human origin will die out.  But it is God's desire that we glorify him.  So every attempt we make to do so is empowered by him.  And it's solid.  

So why do we let fear dominate us so much when it comes to spreading the Word?  It's silly really.  He's been empowering the dissemination of the gospel for over 2000 years.  Why would we think it's going to fail with us?  It's not.  

Prayer:

Dear Lord, you are amazing!  Thank you for preserving the gospel for so long.  I pray that you would use me to further it even more.  Help me to do your work fearlessly.  In Jesus' name!  Amen!

"Pray Continually"

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray continually.

Observations:

That's it.  A verb and an adverb.  An action-- pray.  A description of how to do that action-- continually.  Continually is translated as "adealaptos" which means, "without intermission, incessantly, without ceasing, assiduously."

Application:
I was drawn to this simple scripture today for two reasons.  First of all, I've been struggling with prayer lately.  I get distracted so easily during a period of sustained prayer.  This morning I prayed that God would give me the discipline to focus during prayer and that he would meet me in a very real way during that time.  But I also feel that my sustained prayer time would be improved if I lived my daily life in a spirit of constant prayer.  And that's where this verse comes in.  I figured there are two ways that you can translate pray continually.  You could translate it as, "pray over and over until the prayer is answered."  Or you could translate it, "pray constantly."  I wanted to know which was the intended implication.  The word "adealaptos" definitely implies the second one… we are to be in a state of prayer at all times.

The second thing that drew me to this scripture was the fact that we started the book of Acts in the Bible Reading Plan this week.  I love the book of Acts.  It is such an awesome picture of the power that the church has when they join together their gifts for one purpose-- God's glory.  It just gets me energized!  It makes me think, "We can be this church!  Christ can still do miracles like that through us!"  But what were they doing when the Holy Spirit showed up with that kind of power?  Acts 1:14 says, "They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers."  It makes me wonder what miracles we miss because we are trying to do miracles ourselves instead of begging God to do them.

Prayer:
God, I love you.  You are amazing!  I beg you this morning to energize my prayer life.  Teach me to stay in a state of constant prayer.  Help me to focus during sustained prayer.  I want to see even more of your power in our church, Lord.  Help us all to focus on your strength and not our own.  In Jesus' name!  Amen!

Ebenezers

In yesterday's post, I talked about the importance of practicing praise.  I referenced Pastor Chris's sermon this past week in which he talked about Bethel being a place of remembrance.  He told us we need to learn to encourage ourselves in the Lord by remembering the times he has been faithful.

In 1 Samuel 7:12, the Bible says, "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen.  He named it Ebenezer saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."  This morning I made a map of the Ebenezers in my life-- the points that I can look back and remember that the Lord has brought me this far.  The points that I can remember when I need to encourage myself in the Lord.

I know it is hard to read, but it was really more for the purpose of encouraging myself in the Lord than for the purpose of testimony.  However, if any of you FpStudent girls want to hear my testimony, if you want me to tell you about my Ebenezers, lets sit down and talk this summer.  I'd be glad to tell you what the Lord has done in my life-- in more detail than I wrote about here.

This is by no means comprehensive God has done a zillion little every day miracles that don't show up on the map.  And I know that as Pastor Chris pointed out on Sunday, He's done a bazillion other miracles that I never even noticed.

I encourage you all to make your own list of Ebenezers.  It can be a map, a timeline, a list, a web, whatever.  Just take the time to look back at the times that "the Lord has brought you this far."  As we continue in our "Cool Story, Bro" series, it's important that we think about our own stories and how the Lord has brought us to where we are so that we can use that story to glorify Jesus!

(FpStudents and Leaders- If you write down your Ebenezers and wouldn't mind me sharing them on here, please send me the picture.  I think we can all be encouraged in the Lord by seeing the miracles in each other's lives.)

"I Will Remember"

Scripture: Psalm 77:11
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; Yes I will remember your miracles of long ago.

Observations:

Application:
Yesterday, Pastor Chris talked about going back to Bethel (as Jacob did in Genesis 35.)  His first point was that Bethel is a place of remembrance.  He said we must learn to encourage ourself in the Lord by remembering what he has done.  Yesterday, my husband's cousin posted on Facebook, "Two things I am completely grateful for.  That God's grace and mercy is renewed every day.  Second the love of family and friends.  Without either this time would just be too much to bear."  Her mom is very sick… just barely hanging on.  And yet she is praising the Lord.  She knows how to encourage herself in the Lord by remembering what he has done for her.

But praising in the storm is not easy.  In fact, I think we have to practice daily praise so that it is our habit to praise him when life gets hard.  We have to go back to Bethel daily, praising Him for who He is and thanking Him for what He has done needs to be part of every morning.  Because the "halal" life flows from this.  We praise until praise takes over and defines us.  And then we can praise no matter what is happening.

So this morning, I am praying that the Lord would remind me of all the miracles that I've seen him do in my life.  In one of Beth Moore's books, I think it was Believing God, she talked about drawing a map of your "ebenezers."  In 1 Samuel 7:12, the Bible says, "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, 'Thus far the LORD has helped us.'"  In the next few days, I want to spend some time looking back at my ebenezers-- the defining moments, the miracles, the places where it was apparent that the Lord has carried me through.

Anyone want to join me in drawing this roadmap of your life?  I would love to post some of yours if you'd be willing to share!

Prayer:
Dear Lord, I praise you because you are worthy of praise.  You are amazing!  And I am so thankful for everything you've done in my life.  Lord, over the next couple of days, help me to remember all the times you have been faithful.  Help me to practice praise.  I love you, Lord.  In Jesus' name!  Amen!